Back On The #Tescocustardcreams.

I don’t usually write two blog posts in such quick succession, but, buoyed by the inaugural bootcamp at my local boxing gym last week, my return to Boxercise last night and parkrun on the horizon tomorrow, I’m feeling positive.

I enjoyed Bootcamp, as it was something new, and I really delighted in going back to  Boxercise after a month off. Weather permitting, I’ll put down a marker on which to build at parkrun, with the ultimate aim of beating my current PB by mid-to-end of July (And yes, I do mean July this year!). Oh, and then Bootcamp again, approximately 45 minutes after parkrun…

Photo: I imagine parkrun will be like this. Pouring sweat, red-faced, struggling to breathe and being behind someone who I should probably be ahead of.

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Thursday, 11pm. Two and a half hours after Boxercise…

Man, I’m starving! I’ve got plenty of food in the fridge and in the cupboards, but I’ve got a serious craving for some custard creams. How could I have run-out of them? Running out of toilet paper is bad, but this oversight is on another level!

I’m very disappointed in myself.

Luckily, although sometimes not, for the recovering alcoholic, planet Earth’s largest, 24 hour Tesco is on my doorstep.

Going to buy custard creams sounds like a simple task, but it can present a problem.

Those people who have never worked in retail probably don’t realise the amount of planning that goes into the positioning of products on supermarket shelves, and the layout of the store. This is where Tesco have, in the past, had me by the short and curlies.

The evil management team at Tesco have positioned the biscuit aisle so that it leads me directly onto the ever-so-well-stocked, booze aisles, which, in turn, lead me to the self-harm checkouts. I’ve never been able to prove it, but I also believe that they have invested in some kind of hi-tech equipment, which creates a gravitational micro-climate that pulls me towards the alcohol, preventing me from exiting the biscuit aisle in the other direction, towards the relative sanctuary of the breakfast cereals.

Bastards!

The great, ancient philosopher and civil rights activist, Samuel L. Jackson, once said:

‘The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother’s keeper, and the finder of lost children.”

Too true, Sammy, and still relevant to this day.

Sammy L J

 

Knowing that I was going to mention Tesco and its fine custard creams more than once in this post, it occurred to me that I should probably apply to the supermarket giant to become a brand ambassador. I’ve seen plenty of people doing this on social media, and they have inspired to write a short piece, which will form a part of my application, thus:

Fuelled by #tescocustardcreams, I set-off early for my 5k run. If is wasn’t for my #tescocustardcreams, I’d have probably made it no further than my front door. I started to feel quite tired after 1km. Luckily, I’d put some #tescocustardcreams in my pocket, having anticipated this gradual decrease in energy levels. Wow, what a boost, having just eaten another two #tescocustardcreams I feel like a new athlete. Powered-on by my #tescocustardcreams, I completed my 5k run in a new PB time! Thank you, #tescocustardcreams !

What do you think? I would say that I’m a natural, but I’d be lying. I would never have been able to write this without the mental and physical energy provided by my #tescocustardcreams. 

Custard Creams                        Tesco Custard Creams. £0.45, from all larger Tesco stores.

Thanks to those of you who provided some very positive feedback on my last post. Much appreciated!

More not-so amusing musings to follow in May…

D.

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